Gentlemanly advice needed -- Internet dating -- for over 40?

This is funny, and borderline pathetic/tragic. I've been divorced for 10 years and haven't dated since because the severity of the breakup scared me out of it for a long time. I also became Christian over that time, which caused a lot of changes. I've decided that it's 'time' to step out there again, and I feel like I'm in high school again. (Can I tell you how badly this SUCKS???) I am 41, and plus size -- VERY curvy, and too much gut, unfortunately. A friend posted my photo to 'Hot, Cute, or OK" on Facebook and I got a 91% hot rating -- at 41!!! Woop!! On top of that my libido is over the top. Frankly, I miss it a LOT. Next layer: I'm Christian and am firm on dating God's way... not being promiscuous. Furthermore, I'm all my son has, and I need to be safe for his benefit/security. Honestly.. How do I tastefully get across that I am wanting to be very sexually active with my mate and want one with a high libido, but am not going to be giving out 'free samples'? (after all.. I'm not Chick Fil-A..) As soon as I mention sex, every creep on the internet wants to have chat sex. So how do I get it across without sounding like predator bait and run a chance at attracting a suitable mate??

Public Comments

1. Go ahead girl with your 91% hot self!! there is nothing wrong with internet dating but in my experience, a lot of the dudes on there are looking to get laid.....my suggestion is when writing your profile put it out there that you are a christian woman, i actually met a lot of christian men on one site that i totally recommend, its where i met my current boyfriend :):) its called plenty of fish there are a lot of bad fish but good fish on there too :) i wasnt even looking for my man when i found him and the BEST part about that site is ITS FREE!!!! i have dont match.com and eharmony and others that i paid for and sooooo many of the guys on the pay sites were on plentyoffish.com also :) best of luck and GO FOR IT!!!
2. From this man's perspective, I would prefer that you were honest about it and I would just word it as you have described it. That you are a Christian woman looking and that you have a high libido. Just make sure that you make it clear that you want to date the Christian way and that anyone who responds will have to be Christian themselves and respect that in your life. Being a man that doesn't like a woman with a high libido, I would want it clearly stated so that I don't start into something that I know would never work for me. As for all the Internet creeps that give us respectful men a bad name, just delete them and move on to the next as you are never going to be able to stop that for the simple fact that you are a woman and most men are...well....you get what I mean. Being a single father since my son was 3 months old, and now I am pushing 40, I feel your concern about your child and the mere thought of trying to find someone who will appreciate me and accept the fact that I have a son, has been not only a challenge, but a nerveracking experience. I wish you all the best in your dating endeavor as everyone deserves someone and deserves to be in love.
3. I've done a lot of internet dating, too, and I'm a Christian lady. Knowing what's out there, my advice would be to not mention sex at all. Just look for a good guy and mention your faith. That subject can come up after you decide that a guy you're communicating with is worth that discussion. Most of the men you will communicate with don't have any business knowing that about you. Its hard enough finding a good guy - you don't want to be a magnet for the bad ones. Another free site is singlesnet.com and I liked it way better than plentyoffish.
4. I agree with Serenity. I am not familiar with Christian dating websites, except Eharmony.com which I signed up to take their questionnaire more than a year ago, but did not participate any further. I do have some Christian courtship and marriage sermon albums from my church to recommend to you, sister. They have blessed me as I learnt about God's heart for His children - what to look for in a life partner, and how to involve Jesus in a relationship, etc based on sound biblical principles and the gospel of grace. "Finding your life partner" by Pastor Joseph Prince https://www.destined2reign.com/onlinestore/pc-1347-4-finding-your-life-partner-cd-album.aspx "Christ is the centre of happy marriages" by Pastor Joseph Prince https://www.destined2reign.com/onlinestore/pc-1375-33-christ-is-the-centre-of-happy-marriages-dvd-album-ntsc.aspx I believe these grace-based Christian resources will be worthwhile investment on your future marriage. I also believe the Lord honours your commitment to date His way, and He will surely bring along a suitable godly life partner in His good timing as you commit him in your prayers to Him. God bless you richly, sister.