Advice about an ex who keeps violating my restraining order.?
In 2007 I got a restraining order on my ex husband after a very abusive marriage. Its a complete restraining order - no contact - no writing, no calling, no third party calling - NOTHING. Since I've recieved it he's violated it at least 5 times. Here's a little bit how this all played out so you get a better idea. Early 2007 he was arrested and charged with 4 counts of battery and 2 counts of disordly conduct. He served 6 months and got 3 years probabtion. Mid 2007 I got the restraining order and less than 2 months later he called me - got charged with violating and was revoked of probabtion. End of 2007 he beat his aunt - got 6 months of jail time and 3 years probation. End of 2007 he sent me a letter in the mail - violation of a restrining order - probation revoked. Early 2008 he used my social security number to open accounts - arrested and served 6 months for 2 counts of theft (he is now considered a repeate offeder) Probation - 3 years. Mid 2008 - He beat up yet another female and recieved another domestic charge - gets an additional 2 months. Mid 2008 - He uses my social security number yet again and gets revoked of probation - hes sentenced to 6 months in jail. End of 2008 - He calls me 4 times from the jail he is in, has another inmate call me once, then sends me a disturbing "love" letter in the mail - I report it to police - he is charged with knowling violationg a restrining order - repeter and intimation of a victim - repeater. Today he was given a 5000 dollar SIGNATURE bond and was freed in MY HOME TOWN with nothing but a slap on the wrist. What the hell is going on? What the hell am I supposed to do? This man will not leave me alone and the judges and DA will not do anything to help - they just keep slapping him on the wrist and telling him to leave me alone. My fiance went to the court date today and when the judge told my ex to leave me alone, he LAUGHED! Seriously? I fear for my life, and not only mine but my sons as well. This letter he wrote me was demented - it was sick and twisted - he was saying things like "I'll be in your life no matter what" and "I still love you, you'll always be my pookie" What am I supposed to do??!! I've called the police, the women's sheltar, the DA... EVERYONE!! Who do I go to next? How do i make these people see that this man is never going to leave me alone. I need advice, and I need it now. Extra Info - I'm in Wisconsin and I CANNOT leave the city or the state, my ex has already tried to have me arrested for kidnapping when I took my son to see his Grandmother in Michigan. My ex husband never sees my son, he's seen him maybe 4 months out of his life and once since then and my son is 4. What can I do? Please... help...
Public Comments
- Im sorry i cant answer your question but all i can do is pray for you and your child. try doing self-defense
- I have been through something very similar. First, try to calm down because you cannot make the best decisions unless you do. That being said, document every little thing he does. Continue to turn in every violation, no matter how tired of it you get. Go back before a judge and let him know how scared you are. If he is on probation, call his officer and tell them. Please do not panic, but lay the proper ground work. You want a paper trail to back you up. All I will tell you is that my ex is dead now. But his intention was to kill me. Fortunately, the paper trail I had got it ruled as justifiable homicide. Do not assume yours will try this too. He may not. But be prepared to protect yourself. Keep a cell on you at all times. See if your local shelter has a support group. These women are the best support you can get. No one understands as well as another victim of this. Stay to the path you are on. Stay strong and let him know playtime is over. Do not cut him any slack in regards to enforcing your order. You are smarter than he is and you can win. Just stay alert. Hopefully, he will move on. If he owes you any back child support, threaten to come after it if he doesn't leave town. Hang in there girlfriend. Take all the help you can get and wait for the end of this terrible time. Best of luck. You will be in my prayers. EDIT- I realy do not want to scare you. Men like this can usually be divided in two groups. Those that will kill and those that just act like they will. I hope yours is the second type. You must appear strong and unafraid to him. Do not even answer a simple question if he talks to you. Be stone-faced and uncaring for him to see. You can let your trusted friends know the truth. I know it can be a long road but keep going and do not give up. You can get this man out of your life.
