serious advice/opinions please .?
well , to give a brief summary of my situation : im gay but in the closet , i have a best friend for the last 4 years now - who recently has made me think he isnt my best friend , for too many reasons to mention . but i have been /a m in in love with this friend for the past 4 years - we always go out but not so much recently- i dont know why .i have been trying to figure out if he is gay or not even though a situation arose when he said he wasnt gay - but for some reason it didnt sound convincing ( maybe im in denial ?). the thing is he is 23 now - still has never had girl friend , im his only really close guy friend . he never talks about girls to me, never mentions anyone even when i ask - he says he doesnt know and doesnt know when he will go on dates ( which i respect fair enough but dnt normal ppl think of this, gay or straight and dnt they talk bout it ?? especially to your best friend) . i have gone crazy bout him for so long that im fed up now and want to move on , bcos i get hurt all the time , when i think maybe he is gay and maybe he likes me too but then he has his moods where he doesnt talk to me , sometimes i can just tell something is wrong but he never says anything , he doesnt even talk to me when we go out together in a group of friends when he has those moods .we have been out just the two of us - but i could never tell if he was or liked me romantically .he is unbelievably good looking and he knws that !so getting a girl wnt be a problem . the other thing is im not white and he is white - so might that be the problem ? o , he has made all these new friends at a function he went to , mostly guys that all txt him on face book and he always txt back - im getting jealous but i cant and dont want to but i cant help it bcos i feel i have been put aside now ,so i need to move on and thats why i need ur help!!!! please! but now i want to move on bcos i wasted alot of my time last year and i cant do this again , i wan tto be in love with someone who would choose me and tell me ( i undertsand its a prob if im not out ) that they want to go out with me . i think i have wasted too much time on this guy - but for some reason he is all i think about day and night , i feel he has gripped my heart and when i try to move away or move on - it hurts so bad !! i need serious help , so if u have any ideas pleas let me knw , especially if its an online therapist or realtionship helper thats for free - whom i can email! my story is long and evn more complicated but ic ouldnt put it all here. o , i also dnt knw what im going to do when he does actually fall in love / start going out with another guy or girl ! i knw that makes me really pathetic but i knw its going to happrn and im just going to die - so i need to be prepared! this is for' who knows then:' i understand what u saying but thats why i said its more complicated , i was his friend in the begining and still am thats why it hurts so much - i knw it sounds like im just after him cos he is hot bt its more than that .he doesnt knw im i gay ( i am in the closet) . i said im tired bcos i keep going in circles thinking bout him all the time and trying not to feel that way bout him knowing that its possible he might not feel that way bout me . it does sound like im using him but i always mad a rule never to fall for friends and then this happened to me!?!?! i also know if he really is my friend i should just talk to him- but im too scared and afraid - which makes me even more pathetic.i value your honesty and being real - thanks !
Public Comments
- be very FORCEFULL and say your fed up and want an answer. "ARE YOU GAY?" say what you want
- honesty is the best policy
- ok.. so you seem to be mixing things up a bit.. you say he is your friend but your tired ot waiting around for him because your wasting time... a friend isn't hanging around waiting for more from their friend they are there for support and a companion and enjoy each others company. from what you describe it seems as tho you think this guy is very hot, you want him bad and your his friend so you can seduce him into liking you.. that's not really a friend that's someone who is using you till they get what they want.. if your his friend and you want more then let him know.. but if you don't get more and end the friendship you were never really a friend you were just a stalker who wanted more... sorry just being real.... also you never mentioned whether he knows your gay but i am assuming he does.... best of luck..
