What are some of the things I should be aware of when dating a single parent?

I am considering getting serious a single father. I really love his little kid, so we get along well, but are there other things or tips you could tell me about so I might be better prepared for a relationship like this? What are the challenges in a situation like this? I am pretty young and I don't have alot of experience with this sort of thing. All sincere advice is really appreciated! He is 5 by the way :)

Public Comments

1. Be careful with the child they are so impressionable and if you and the father were to split up it may hurt the child. If you are asking this on answers then I think you should think about this some more. How is the mom this could cause problems too. I have friends who loved their guy but due to the mother of the child it was just too much.
2. Single parents will always choose their kids first (well the ones who know what their priorities are). If you like the kid and get a long with the kid, show it, play with him, etc. You just have to make responsible choices at all times, especially when they are with you. Like if you're in the car, and someone cuts you off...well family first, make sure everyone is safe and don't go cussing or flipping that person off. Kids soak in everything like a sponge does.
3. I have been on both sides of this situation. A year after my son was born, my husband and I separated for a brief time. Soon after, I began dating an amazing guy who also had a one year old son. He was sweet, good looking and his son and I hit it off from the start. My son became very fond of him and his son as well. The relationship was everything I could ask for BUT his ex continuously called him, using their son as an excuse to meet up. She somehow found out my phone number and called me nonstop and would say that no matter how good I treated him he'd always still love her because she was the mother of his son. Blah blah. blah. The drama became to much to handle, and ultimately caused me to break things off. At this time, my ex began dating another woman as well, but he continued to call me, proclaiming his love for me, asking me to take him back and always making excuses to see me saying he had to talk about our son. He would tell me I was the love of his life because I gave him a son, blah blah blah. So you see...when children are involved things are complicated. And there will ALWAYS be baby mama drama! You've got to ask yourself, is this guy worth it?? Good luck!
4. take it slow with the child, don't force yourself onto him/her. be prepared to deal with baby mama. i dated my baby daddy(now ex) for 2 yrs and he has 2 little boys that i still love to death. luckily their mom and i got along the whole time and we still get along now. what i did was, when i would go over the his house and the boys were there, i would say hi and go sit on the couch or somewhere where they were not, this way i'm giving them space and they could come to me when/if they wanted. also i never spent the night there when he had the boys. After about 3 months of this, the kids loved me and we all got along! I will say when kids are involved and a breakup happens, it's hard. I'm pregnant now(by their father)but we haven't dated for about 5months and i miss those boys everyday. don't rush them, things will work out. Good luck
5. First realize the kid will resent you for destroying the chances of his/her parents reuniting, and they will never see you equal to their bio mom. Next they will make your life miserable if they dislike you and you will have to deal with them and the ex 'til death do you part. Your husband out of guilt will go easy on them and let them get away with things that will drive you nuts,not to mention friction between them and any kids you have with him.
6. Be patient, so patient you might burst. he may need to change arrangements at the drop of a hat, be understanding. His child will ALWAYS come first-you need to be prepared for the fact you will always come second in your mans life. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you but as a single father (or any single parent) it will be hard to have a relationship where your child doesn't come in the middle of thing. Expect nights in rather than nights out. Expect the child to, on occasion, resent and even hate you, even if you are close now. But a few good tips-when you go over, bring something small for the child. Nothing major, i'm not talking huge gifts. But a colouring book and some crayons, or a book you can read for him/her. Don't do it every time or the kid will expect gifts always. Just now and then. Sometimes rent a movie for the three of you to watch together. Offer to take the kid to the park to give the dad a break. And enjoy yourself!!!
7. Be prepared to always be second in your partner's life. It won't be too extreme now, but if you live together it will be noticeable that you are, to some extent, an outsider in their relationship. If you have tickets to a concert on the same night that his son has school conferences, your tickets will go to waste. If you are feeling down and need a quiet evening with your partner, his son may need him too and you'll be left alone to deal with your own problems. This isn't always a bad thing, but some women can eventually have an issue with it. Be prepared to have his ex in your life. If his ex is a good person, it will be much easier for you. If she's a b*tch, your life will be difficult. Make sure your partner knows how to stand up to his ex. Many men let their ex's walk all over them when it comes to their kid. For example, if you sign your stepson up for karate and his mom signs him up for soccer - your partner may say his son has to play soccer so his ex doesn't get upset. Keep an eye out for that. Be prepared for his son to become jealous sometimes. It will depend on how he is, but if he sees his dad is getting really serious with someone he may act out at times. If he gets snotty with you, your partner may not come to your defense. Your partner may expect you to treat his child with golden gloves but his child is allowed to treat you badly. Keep an eye out for ANY signs of this too. My husband was the first man I ever dated that had a child. It wasn't a problem until we lived together. I became pregnant shortly after we moved in together. There were times that I became so frustrated with his son's bad behavior that I would spend the entire day alone in the bedroom. When you're pregnant, being alone all day can be rough - especially if your partner is spending the whole day playing with his kid. But it can be very rewarding too - there will be times the three of you connect and bond and it feels like you have a real family. And one day his son will give you a flower and say, "Happy Mothers Day!" And you will be very, very happy. Good luck!
8. When the person you are dating has a child, the child will come first many many many times. You will eventually be dealing with the ex, for your sake I hope she's sane The relationship wont revolve around you or even you and him, the child will figure into your plans and much of what you do or dont do as a couple It takes a very special kind of person to be a step parent, don't feel anything is wrong with you if you can't handle the situation.
9. Wow, Let me see, been there done that (from the other side) My husband was raised by his single mother. Now his Mother has been dating someone for over a year. I respect this guy, I do. But he wants to play a big part in our Relationship. My husband and I will be bringing a baby into the world this year. My Mil wants him to be "grandpa" and be "Dad". My MIL also misses holidays to spend with her Boyfriend. I almost feel insulted. She brings this dude into her son's life and my life and expects us to treat him like our "Step-Dad". For Heavens sake, My husband is almost 24...24 years ago is when he needed a Father, not now. Just be careful. Your the girlfriend not the mother...But give it time. Maybe you can turn into a wonderful Step-Mother.