Can you offer any advice?

I am 29 and I have never had a boyfriend. I don't understand myself - I would love to fall in love, I get on brilliantly with my older brother and my 2 male flatmates but when it comes to interacting with someone who is attracted to me or who I find attractive I retreat at full speed in terror! Does anyone else experience this? Any advice? I will be 30 before the end of the year and never been kissed - I feel a real loser. I show a lot of courage in other areas of my life but the idea of dating sends me into a panic but at the same time I want to meet someone and often feel very lonely.

Public Comments

1. you need to be patient. try putting more of yourself out there. go to places where you can meet people. don't try and find love, let it find you. be yourself, and don't be afraid.
2. You have a fear of commitment honey, welcome to the club. Mine is so bad I can't even commit to one brand of shampoo. What I usually try to do when it comes to dating is to simply take one step at a time. "I like this person today", or "this person makes me laugh" or " I wanna be around them today". Don't push yourself to hard and try not to see it as an all encompassing event. You don't have to get married, be committed, or even see the person for a second date if you don't want to. One day (or date) at a time. Eventually you'll find the person who is willing to be patient with you, understands, and does not push you to be anything you don't want to be.
3. wow, I think you should build a friendship, since your better with interacting with people you are closer too, them build from there, or maybe the one for you is right there and you dont notice...(^-^) I dunno, have youtold your friends about htis(your male friends) If there not the ones, just keep looking, it not too late, You'll find that special someone :)
4. sounds like your just overreacting to your fear of the unknown-dating. You've never done it yet, and your scared of it. I think once youve let someone know this is the way you are, that they wouldn't mind working you through it. If a woman I was interested in let me know she was interested in me, but was terrified of dating, I would go through the work to chip away at her terror to get to the "real' her. Maybe you have some type of anxiety disorder that can be worked on once it can be defined. You can look at online sites that discuss this subject and also includes hints and tips of how to deal with stuff like making conversation and how to make small talk, along with how to deal with general anxiety. Good luck!
5. I feel for you. ~ You probably need some heavy duty therapy. Sounds to me like you have trust issues. Think back to what may have caused that and see whether you can't think it out. Phobias need to be dealt with and trust needs to be extended, otherwise you'll be fated to go through life solo permanently. One reason I could see would be if you have too low a libido. Otherwise that alone would push you so hard, all your phobias would seem as nothing.
6. you know what? what you should deal with, is not your confidence but your fear for commitment. the confidence will just follow. You said that: "you show a lot of courage in other areas of my life but the idea of dating sends me into a panic but at the same time I want to meet someone and often feel very lonely." you know you need relationships and you also know that you panic whenever the idea of dating comes along. prioritize what you need and you'll see that maybe it's not what you really want.
7. Sometimes your greatest accomplishments in life come from when you conquer your greatest fears. Don't worry about the first kiss or about meeting the right guy, just take life and dating one step at a time. Don't get caught up in focusing on the end of the tunnel take it one step at a time. good luck, starting at 30 is better than not starting at all!