What are your favourite quotes and tell which one you like the best?

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -- Erica Jong My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. -- Rita Rudner I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. -- Dolly Parton I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -- Wendy Liebman Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth to. -- Erma Bombeck If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. -- Sue Grafton I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead. -- Sue Kolinsky I think -- therefore I'm single. -- Lizz Winstead "When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." -- Elayne Boosler "I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." -- Gilda Radner "Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." -- Maryon Pearson "Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel." --- Bella Abzug "In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man; If you want anything done, ask a woman." -- Margaret Thatcher "I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." -- Gloria Steinem "Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." -- Baroness Edith Summerskill "If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" -- Linda Ellerbee "Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." -- Gloria Steinem Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." -- Katharine Hepburn

Public Comments

1. "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." ~ John Lennon R.I.P.
2. People are just people the shouldn't make you nervous if you don't toss your plastic the streets won't be so plastic and if you kiss somebody then both of you get practice -regina spektor (from the song Ghost of Corporate Future) You must be the change you want to see in the world -Gandhi An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind -Gandhi I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. -Martin Luther King, Jr If music be the food of love play on. -Shakespeare there's more, I really like quotes because I don't always express myself as well as I wish I could. But these are the few that first come to mind.
3. A multitude of rulers is not a good thing. Let there be one ruler, one king
4. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy” - Benjamin Franklin (my favorite) "I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." - Winston Churchill "Beer , if drank with moderation, softens the tempter, cheers the spirit, and promotes good health.” – Thomas Jefferson " Beer is a wholesome liquor…..it abounds with nourishment" –Dr. Benjamin Rush "I think this would be a good time for a beer." (upon signing the New Deal, paving the way for the repeal of Prohibition) - Franklin D. Roosevelt “Let no man thirst for good beer.” – Sam Adams " Give my people plenty of beer, good beer and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution" –Queen Victoria
5. "Sure-n-begora": I'm not even sure what that means, and I probably spelled it wrong. I see that the majority of your quotes are from the lips of women. I could give you a few quotes from men that I have known, but they are unprintable, and I would surely be expelled from Yahoo if I printed them here. Here's one: "The job ain't done until the paper work is complete." But, as you read it, you need to see a little cartoon, or picture, of character sitting on a pot to understand the real meaning or meanings of the quote. Here's one I actually heard, a carpenter speaking to an apprentice: "You stupid S.O.B., I taught you everything I know, and you still don't know anything."
6. "These are the times than try men's souls. When the summer soldier and the sunshine patriot shrink from the duty for the country" Tom Paine. "Never get into a land war in Asia" Douglas MacArthur "Avoid the creation of a military - industrial complex" Dwight Eisenhower "Avoid entangling alliances" George Washington (I suspect some are not perfect quotes but they are very close)
7. "Every man is the architect of his own fortune." Sallust
8. "Do not pee down my back and tell me its raining" Judge Judy "Everyday I wake up, is a good day" Rodney Dangerfield
9. A good collection. Margaret Thatcher is perhaps right.
10. whats that useless piece of skin on the end of a penis called-a fellow-Joan Rivers. i told you i was ill-Spike Milligan.
11. u do ask the impossible ,don't you? pick A favourite? love them all ,ok,no.9. and the last one ...and....
12. My all-time favorite (I'm paraphrasing) is Groucho Marx- I wouldn't want to belong to any club who would have me as a member......& then there's WC Fields......I'd rather be dead than be in Philadelphia. ......& Mae West ........It's not the men in you life, it's the life in your men!
13. "The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love. What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork." Pearl Bailey
14. If you speak three languages you are tri-lingual, If you speak two languages you are bi-lingual, If you speak just one language then you are "British"
15. My absolute favorite is by Rita Mae Brown: Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way myself. In other words, I am the one who is responsible for my own downfall.. that's the way I read it. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain.
16. My favorite quote is: Reality is an illusion and is site specific. Of the list you so graciously and humorously provided, the one I like best is: "Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." -- Baroness Edith Summerskill
17. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch Gilda Radner.
18. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
19. "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get." -- Forrest Gump
20. This is good Suzy!!! I like Gilda Radner!!!
21. I don't know where I read this so can't remember who said it. 'Senior moment'! sorry. "I'm a nobody Nobody's perfect Therefore I Am perfect"
22. Elayne Boosler quote:" When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." My favorite: "You can get more with kind words and a gun than you can with kind words alone."-Al Capone
23. Those are really good. My favorite is "Life is a Banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death." Auntie Mame, played by Rosalind Russell said this in the movie Auntie Mame written by Patrick Dennis.
24. I like what Linda Ellerbee said.
25. Some men dream dreams and ask why. I dream things that never were and ask why not? Robert F. Kennedy. Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. JFK The entire I have a dream speech from ML King JR. If peace is our vision, then let us begin, let us begin. John Denver in What are we making weapons for ? Just because you drive the bus doesn't give you the right to roll over people. Randy Pausch
26. "In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes" Benjamin Franklin