Bittersweet breakup advice?

Hi everyone thanks for helping before hand! I had been dating my Girlfriend for 8 months. I cant Speak for her but I can at least say I like her as a person more than any girl i've ever experienced or have been attracted to. I've had these feeling since the first night we meet and they keep getting stronger. We are both very attractive people, have never had a fight - not one, both atheist - which is hard to find and is important in the way we live our life and carry out our ethics. We hung out all the time, gone on trips, just got back from xmas with my family, into art, politics, working out ect, ect. Prior to us meeting we were hell bent on staying single and "free" forever. Recently she broke up with me because she thought that we were going in different situations that were not compatible, we both moved away from our college. We had a great relationship and never had a fight once over 8 months. She told me that as an artist she wants to find herself and just focus on just herself. This is perfectly acceptable to me I tend to think that we might need our space because while at college we only hung out with each other due to class, work and the town we were fed up with. She thinks that we cannot maintain the same relationship so we should end it. We both moved to the same cities and are living within 10 mins of each other of course there is going to be change that’s what life is. What I feel and some of her friends feel is that she just has a case of the too good to be true syndrome. In the past she had a vision of herself as a young, independent graphic designer in the big city very sex in the citish…it turned out her life was not looking that way because she has feeling and didn’t want to really be independent deep down but told herself that’s what she wants . We decided not to talk for 5 days and will get together on thurs to discuss things, she and I both wanted to do this.. Anyways do women do these things? I mean I really think she talked herself out of our relationship for the purpose of fulfilling her vision.. She was crying the day and night we broke up and we basically lied in bed all day night with one another hugging, kissing and comforting each other after it happened discussing how to rationally go about this and talking about how good our relationship was.

Public Comments

1. Dating is very confusing! Yes, women do do things like this--so to do men. Don't worry. The end of the world isn't going to happen, & I can assure you, from personal experience, no matter how many times it seems like "This is the one", I've always found someone else I cared for later. I'd give her time, tell her that she's very important to you, you don't want to break up, but you understand the relationship isn't working for her, & you are willing to give her some space & time to think about things on her own. Then, back off completely. She just may come back ;-) (you may not want her back though!)
2. Seriously i'm confused on that one myself, and i'm a woman! Maybe she's starting to see things differently, like finding new things bout herself that she feels like u won't like bout her! Or possibly she's just tired of being with one man, like u said in the beginning that you were both hell bent on the free and single for life thing? IDK
3. I think you should accept people grow apart. She may want different things now Idk but don't listen to her friends or analyse her yourself. I think you're are trying to hold onto something that is no longer there. I don't see the point either of meeting up after five days you should wait far longer if you really want to know how you both feel :)
4. Being an artist is a lifelong journey of introspection, and attenuated observation. There is nothing about being an artist that specifically precludes engaging in a relationship. In fact, as muses go, romance has inspired some of the most passionate and fetching works of art throughout time. (Gaugin, Tolouse-Lautrec, Van Gogh) Perhaps she felt she needed the space for her own reasons, and the career paths spin was a convenient, believeable excuse. That's fine as far as that goes; its as good an excuse as any. Just realize that there are plenty of successful artists working today while maintaining fulfilling relationships. I just thought you might like to know that. Good luck in all of your future endeavors.