Need some relationship advice regarding a Christmas Present, Should I, OR should I NOT buy a gift for_____?

My boyfriend of 5 years. I may seem bitter because of gift exchanging of the past. You see the first Christmas we had together, we were together for 2 months, I got him an average nice watch, and I in return, received nothing. I really can't remember if we agreed to exchange....I just sort of figured we would...So I never got a present. Then a few months later, on Valentines Day, I never got a card, a present, a romantic dinner, a free back rub...nothing. I was actually lonely and depressed, and went out to dinner on my own. I said, "Oh I think we need some Toilet paper and so im going to go to town and maybe pick up a coffee....For my birthday that year, I turned 21 and I just remember we bought some alcohol, but I ended up not drinking it because I must have caught a virus and got sick. I broke up with him, dated someone else for about 6 months, then realized throughout everything with my original boyfriend, I loved him and then we got back together. I got back with him just a few days before our second christmas. He bought me pretty diamond earings while we were apart, and he was planning on giving them to me before he knew we would end up back together. That next valentines day, I think he got some roses, thats all he could afford, which is fine. The next Christmas, he SAID he got me a watch, but that it got stolen from his car when he was hanging out at a friends house. Which I could believe him on that he's not a liar, however, I never received a back up present of any kind, (I thought I would). The following Valentines day, He didnt get me sh*T, and I got so mad, so ten minutes before midnight, he got me a huge huge bear and some flowers from some guy out on a corner. The following Christmas, he got me a few "GIFT CARDS", xmas eve when everyone was closed at like 8 or 9PM, because I was complaining about how sad it would be that I wouldnt have anything to open from him. He returned from the store with those gift cards that you can buy at grocery stores/minute marts, the ones that are hanging on the walls, It was for borders book stores which I do love books, and also a massage card, however, I never used the gift cards, lol. not to be mean or wasteful, but its true that like 60% of people dont actually use them, its a horrible waste, they either get lost, or the people dont have time to use them. K I promise, finally we're getting somewhere with this story. So last year, our 4th christmas together, I didnt get him a gift, so he could see what its like to get diddly squat. He spent like $500.00 dollars on me. I am NOT about money, but im just wondering if I should get him a gift this year? He is a great guy, we are going to be getting married in 2010/2011 and REALLY are in love, and besides these weird gift exchanges, he has prooved himself beyond what I could ever have expected. In fact right now he is planning out a vacation for january just the two of us. All is well emotionally/financially/romantically etc, but do I get him a gift? What do you think. I have no one else to talk about this with. Thanks for reading my long @SS STORY. haha

Public Comments

1. a christmas sweater
2. I think you two really need to talk and come to an agreement on exchanging gifts.
3. I would just ask are we doing a gift exchange this year?
4. How about an honest conversation? You have unmet expectations of which he is probably unaware, and he may be looking to you for some affirmations he's not getting. Sit down with a beverage and some nosh, and ask him what he expects from you. Then tell him that holidays and special occasions like anniversaries are important to you. STRESS that it's not the value of the gift, but the remembering and appreciating you. I really believe such a conversation, conducted without negative emotion, would end well.
5. I think this is something you need to talk about wth him...maybe more than a week before hand. Say something along the lines of "how do you want to do gifts this year? Are we exchanging? Is there a price limit?". And as far as whether or not you should get him a gift this year, remember that gift giving should be from the heart. If you feel like he is deserving of a gift, get him one. Forget about worrying about price tags; get him something that has meaning and that he will enjoy. I know how it feels to be hung up on a certain aspect of someone that bothers you, but if you are planning that far ahead with this guy, you might just have to be willing to forget.
6. From what you say, you are happy together so he must have other good qualities, perhaps he is just really rubbish at remembering to buy gifts, perhaps he doesn't think they are all that important and so he forgets. It seems to be part of his personality, and it sounds as though he does try sometimes. Get him a gift, maybe he will get better at it in the future:) there are more important things than being a good gift giver:)