advice desperately needed?

I have a sister who is 11 months younger than me, I got married 3 years ago, am doing a masters in behavioural genetics and am also working part time. My sister is doing her nursing diploma, and is dating my husbands best mate for 6 months now. Her man is so cool, I mean he's really laid back and we get along really well. Ok, now my sister is the type of person I'd not rather be around in my adulthood, reason being is becuase she's so negative and in a way I feel she brings me down. I am the type of person that likes to try any haircut, clothing etc. I am free to change and learnt this from my modelling shoot days. If I get my hair cut she'd always say something about how she liked my hair hair long, ok so she has a right to her opinion, but she always does it. I am very confortable with myself, and prefer to be natural, I hardly wear makeup however I used to be selfconcious about my face as a teen and so used to slap on makeup. my husband always tells me that I am beautiful regardless. However my sister is always saying "why dont you wear makeup anymore, you look better with it on", always such negative comments. She even had the nerve to say her boyfriend was looking at my pics when I had long hair etc. and said I looked pretty, almost an insult to my short hair. Funny thing is he's always telling me how my short hair looks really nice. Either way even if he made those comments etc. why does she have to tell me? She even told me how apparently a friend of a friend is jobless after graduating from behavioural genetics. Again, maybe its true, but why tell me and bring me down?

Public Comments

1. maybe she brings you down to bring her self up? She sounds very insecure about yourself. You might make her jealous with your confidence. Or she could just be socially retarded and have no concept of what she is doing to you. I understand how you feel i have a brother who i just chose to stay away from because of the negativity. But suggest just stay away and make nice....or just tell her "hey i just dont care about any of that so please stop talking about it....thank you for your opinion but i only need it once" good luck to you and im sorry!
2. she definitely sounds like the petty jealous type! Probably yeh coz she's insecure with herself/just a negative person either way the only thing you can really do is confront her (with evidence) and ask her to stop saying negative things.... if she can't stop because thats just the way she is I'd just stop seeing her as much, we all love our sisters but if they're gonna put you down you're not obligated to see them so often surely?!
3. I am wondering why you are listening to all this c--p from other people? you are who you are live your own life and shut out other people's negativity.
4. it happen we always meet these people.its because you take some effect of what she says.be positive tell yes i like long hair,dont make a bad face.if your husband loves you like that then what others say doesnt matter.may allah guide you.
5. For what I can perceive, the problem is you and not your sister. You are paying too much attention to what she says and are too self-conscient of how you look like and how you behave. I used to be like that when I was young and suffered a lot because of that. Your sister also picks on you because you pay attention. My advice? Next time your sister has something to say, just smile, agree with her or ignore her. Never talk back and never let her know how affected you are. Because I don't know if she is really bullying you or trying to help, the best way is to ignore her. She will stop or go to another person if she is doing it because she is a bully. For you, my advice is that try to believe more in yourself and how you feel about it. If you chose that career, just focus on what you want and ignore her comments. Be yourself with your hair and no-make up if you enjoy them. That's great! Don't repeat what your sister says in front of your husband. Take what your husband says as true: that you are pretty and that he loves you as you are. Involve yourself in activities that you enjoy. Go out with your own friends and your husband. When you help others and become involved in other problems and struggles yours will become stuff from the past. And you will feel useful and happy because you are helping someone else. You'll forget about your low self-esteem and your sister's problems. BTW, I think your career is awesome and you'll have a great future in it. Take care and good luck
6. Well there are a few possable reasons for her comments. 1.It is possable that she is overstressed herself and finds no common grounds to be happy with people. After being in such a negitive state for so long, now people just add to her stress by getting mad at her negitive attitude. This creates a void of aimless anger and negitive reactions. 2.Maby the thought of change is making her uneasy. To much change around her mking her act negitivly to anything thats not how it "used to be". 3.Its possable that when she makes the comments you have little to no verbal reactions and report negitivly with body language. It could be safe to assume that you have alwases been "one step up" on her. She has the big sister, possably ows her entire relationship to you, exc.. Note: It might be a good idea to make light of some of her negitive comments and giggle a little bit about them. Try finding common grounds with her. Its safe to assume that you have now been trying to relate with her as of late. Remember, family is forever.