I need some relationship/dating advice from a few good men, aged 23-33.?

I have this problem... Every guy I meet, I always think he just wants to have sex with me. Im not saying he really does, but its like, i cant believe anything that anyone says because i think theyre just saying it to have sex with me... its a bit of a problem for me cause i dont want to have a bf that only wants sex with me, but if i think every guy only wants sex than i end up with no boyfriend because ive told myself that. hard to follow i know, im sorry, im as confused as you are... my question is how can i stop assuming guys want sex so i can actually meet ppl and trust them and make friendships with ppl, not always feeling like i have to guard myself....

Public Comments

1. good question. you cant be superwoman, unfortunately you cant read people's minds, even if you wanted to. how do you know they are only thinking about sex? i dont think you really think thats all they want. you seem insecure. maybe you should be less insecure and stop worrying about a guy's motives for talking to you. just be friendly and dont assume they're all bad.
2. Just go out and have fun. Don't do anything that you don't want to. There really are nice guys out there that aren't all about sex!!! Give it time and I'm sure you will find one.
3. For your sake, Candy, just continue assuming that they only want sex. If they give reason to trust you, you will naturally begin to trust them. Don't worry about whether or not you'll end up with no boyfriend because of this mentality. Would you rather have a boyfriend who's only interested in sex? I didn't think so. Hold out for the right one.
4. Yes odds are they just want to have sex with you 98% of all me are the same way... If you want to see how real a man is try this one... date around, find one that seems promising... then let him know that you don't plan on having sex till your married. Then watch his reaction... If he begs, or pleads. Presses the issue or trys over and over... He's using you for sex... If your strong enough to wait he can too... and besides you don't even have to wait till your married... just wait 3 to 6 months... then once your sure hes in for the long run..... go for it... Hope this helps... You see i'm one of that 2% of guys that think love is worth more then sex... So I'm giving you a way to call the dick heads out... Good luck!
5. just dont get in the sex part of the relationship so fast. let him show you that you can trust him and not just say you can.If sex is not what he is looking for then ther should not be a problem.
6. If they're trying to date you it's a pretty good bet that they want to have sex with you - or they're at least contemplating the issue. Otherwise they wouldn't want to date you. Procreation, or the procreative act is an appropriate and logical outcome for a romantic relationship. And, it's appropriate and logical to contemplate it before investing your time and energy into a romantic relationship. If you want b/f but no sex ever, then maybe you have a problem that will need counseling to resolve the issue. Or, if you're normal, at some point, you'll want the guy to want to have sex with you. So, the question is what's the real problem? You don't trust yourself not to have sex with anyone who wants it? Or, you actually don't EVER want to have sex? (see physician / psych for this). Or, maybe it's just the way you've organized time - that you haven't separated "now" (first date) from "then" (whenever it will become good for him to want you). Maybe you don't have that organized in an effective way. Or, maybe your internal pornography (your imagining of "his desire to have sex with you") needs adjusting - more time, more foreplay, more ... something - so that it's appropriate and good if a man wants to have sex with you. Consider those ideas and see what comes to mind. If you want specific help, you can drop a line.