26 year old needs some dating advice please?
I am a 26 year old single male and have not had a girlfriend in 5+ years. I was out with coworkers last night and had this girl that would keep staring at me. She was very pretty and I would graze back and she would smile and then look away. So I went up to her asked to sit with her and her friend. We started chatting shortly and started really getting into it. Thing is that when we left she said she would really love to spend some more time with me and wants to meet next monday evening for dinner and to talk. I have waiting for this for a long time except have shyed away due to a few reasons. First is that she doesnt know yet but I still live with my parents. I have lived with them pretty much most my life and only to support them. My older siblings have drained my parents and me out of 100's of thousands of dollars with their drugs and alcohol issues. Continued below... Yeah that is more than a 1 with 5 zeros. I stuck around and still to this day pay them 1000 dollars a month rent, do everything related to myself by myself including cleaning and laundry, all the yard and house work etc... So I dont really know how to explain to her as this was the first thing that has always bothered me. I pretty much am ready to move on although of course my parents dont ever want me to leave due to these and other reasons. Another reason I never have or do touch drugs or alcohol. The other reason is that I can afford to live on my own, although I am in huge debt due to the fact of this also of helping them out and got myself in a budget bind. Second issue. I just really want to be honest when I talk to her and I hope that these problems can be looked upon. I would do whatever it takes to cut out whatever things I have to make it and move on out, just might take a year or so. Do you think this would be a real turn off?
Public Comments
- To be honest if I started dating someone and they told me what you did that you are living with your parents to help them out then I would totally understand, it's the loosers that still live with their parents for a free ride that are the problem. If you could afford to live on your own and aren't to help then that is a noble effort. Just tell the truth if she doesn't understand maybe she doesn't deserve you!
- Not at all! Believe me, any girl that is worth her weight in gold will understand that. If she doesn't, she's not for you. If I really liked a guy and he told me that, it would not matter one bit. I would think that he was compassionate and a good son. Even if he was living with them to pay of a school debt or before you get yourself on your feet and wasn't supporting them, I would understand. But your situation is even more of a reason! You have been taken advantage of by your siblings and that is not your fault. You have nothing to hide. Once the conversation comes up, tell her honestly the situation. Don't lose out on a chance for a nice girl because of this. Believe me, if she is the right girl, she will not care. If she does, her loss.
- That is something you need to ask her, because depends on the woman. However, I wouldn't bring it up until you get to know her better. The fact that you are paying rent and taking care of your family financially shows that you are very responsible. That is a good thing. However, you are older and are probably dating for marriage at this point, and let's pretend that she is in the same mindset. The fact that you feel obligated to take care of your family (and it seems they are relying on you to do so), is not condusive to a marriage situation. I don't know of any woman who purposefully throws themselves into a relationship with a man who supports his family financially, thereby preventing him for saving his money for their future (together) or bettering himself with an education so he can get a good job and help support a family of his own. The woman should ask herself: How long will this go on? After we are married and have our own lives together? Will he be able to separate himself from his family or will they come after him demanding that he bail them out time and again. Does he feel obligated to do so-is he a mama's boy? OR is he very emotionally responsible and stable and able to walk away from the situation at any time, leaving his family behind, and putting his wife and marriage first?
