child of a single parent wants to know - what to do when the parent feels alone?

i am the daughter of divorced parents who lives with her mother. my father remarried shortly after the divorce; my mother has dated, but not in about four years. she has a fulfilling job and our family (my sister, mom, and i) are very close. however, she is getting older - turning 50 in 2009 - and has lost a lot of her friends due to the dissipation of a volunteer group she used to be a part of. she's been very moody lately and i realized through a bit of prodding that it's because she feels alone. i'm totally capable of not living at home (i'm 22), my sister will be going away to college in a year, and soon she'll really be alone. i know everyone goes through phases, but i feel a lot of responsibility for her - she is my best friend and my only real parent. i already lost a lot of friends because two summers ago she went through a similar lonely phase and i blew off a lot of friends to spend ALL my time with her. i feel guilty every time i leave her alone. she would hate it if she knew i felt like this, but it eats at me when i leave the house and she's alone in it. i need to get over this or else i'm going to be 30 and still living at home. i'd like to eventually think about moving out or maybe even just see my boyfriend on a friday night without feeling intense guilt. i also want her to realize that she DOES have friends and she's not alone. how can i make this better? advice on getting her to date, make new friends, talk to her? anything would help.

Public Comments

1. Get toasted. Makes everything better
2. That seems like a tough situation, what you should do is AIM the following screen name: TheAdviceGiver85 They helped me and they will help you
3. You are the child, not a substitute for a partner. You have the right to have your own life, so start living it.
4. make a party for her with her old friends. or... buy her an alligator :] ok maybe a dog would be ok too. lol. take her to a dating website.
5. Maybe getting her a good date would be a nice idea. Also, you should make new friends, and talk to her. Because by talking to her maybe she will say you don't exactly have to live with her. I mean she will feel lonely, but everyone does in a point in their lives. And your 22, you should move out soon you can't live there until your 30. Hope I helped:]
6. You can't live for her and i am sorry that you have tried. now its time for you to get her involved in chruch and stuff get her involved in something s for her to do. i mean you can do it and then you can move you have to move on and this is time for you and then when your younger sister moves she will go also she has to have time for herself and grow like you its sad when a marriage ends but its also time for beginning and shes not old she is f 50 that is young and at the time of her life when she can go anywhere she wants to. you show her bunco peopel to play with and stuff like that bingo and mabye other things and church things it will help and then get moving gir. you have to stop being guility and think of yourself also.
7. You both need to start going to church together, one that is comfortable. It will help spiritually, mentally, and socially. I promise, It will transform both your lives. God Bless
8. What I would do is make sure that she know that you are there for her. Try going out shopping, or to dinner. Let her know that you're her daughter and you love her.
9. i am going through the same thing your mother is, alot of us are. at 22 you have no idea what she is thinking or feeling, it isn't just a narrow issue. at 50 she feels it is late for alot of dreams. you don't start a career at 50, or a family, you arn't becoming more, you are holding your ground or becoming less, sad but true. there are good reasons for midlife crisis, it is a turning point in life that is pretty difficult to face. being alone, without a mate is the one issue on top of the list, it's the one thing most people look to in their lives to pull them through, regardless of what else is going on. having that companionship, that person to share your life, and even to go through that difficult time together. your time you spend with her is important, but you won't replace that companionship. keep the communication open with her, lots of visits, but i would bet she doesn't want you to live your life around her either, she just doesn't want to be forgotten. talk to her and convince her to keep trying, just be there for her.
10. Maybe there is another place for her to do voluterry work and make new friends. Suggest she take a class in somthing. Classes are offered at the local craft store, from a local artist, a jc, something of that nature. She may like taxing a tax class and next year do p/t taxes for people something of that nature. You are just too cool to care for your mom like that. She raised a really nice proof of that right here:)
11. Honey Your MOM is a MOM. She is a woman and may be struck with empty nest syndrome when you move out-THAT"S LIFE!!!! I was a single mom also and was struck with it. After s short time I really liked having two grown daughters and being able to live my own life full well knowing they were on their own and beginning to thrive! If it would make you feel better set her up for success. Start collecting things she can do. The newspaper often has a list of even free stuff to do. Maybe there's a class at an open university or community center near you. Bingo. Older singles dances or get togethers. Dance lessons. Pay attention to what she likes and use that as your base for exploration. I kind of wished I would have had that kind of information at hand when my daughters were 17. The transition would have been much easier for me. I floundered for a while with a poor me what to do mentality. There's a whole big wonderful world out there for her as well as yourself. You both will be stretching your wings!!!