Need some advice-husband been signing up to singles dating online?

Hi all, I have been with my husband for 12 years and we have 5 daughters. Yesterday I found he has been joining online dating agencies and putting ads out looking for a 18-22 year old. Its deffo him, and when I demamnded to look at his e-mails he would not allow me to even though I freely offereed him to look at mine! I am absolutely heartbroken and feel so rejected. He cant be happy and want me if he is doing this?

Public Comments

1. been there, i even pretended to be someone else and arranged to meet him, and off her went to have sex with this mystery woman. when he found out it was me he went mad. it hurt so much next thing he had sex with a woman off the net, i was heart broken he swore hed never do it again, and he did i dumped him, you need to talk to him tell him its you or them,
2. am sorry to hear that so he needs a 22 year old what a dork! did he forgot the years of laught and joy ,also of pain and hard time! now he wants to change what can i tell u in my opinion i ll just wait and see what will happen or divorce!
3. maybe you should consider marriage counseling and figure out the problems that you can fix.
4. Sorry about that. I have done the same thing as your husband. I have signed up for these sites, but nothing other than chatting. I know my wife does not have as strong of a sex drive as me since our daughter was born. You have had 5 kids and i can imagine you two don't get much alone time? Good luck! I guaranteed he is not cheating on you, he is just curious.
5. Thats smth normal to happen after all these years of marriage...hes probably feeling unhappy in a way that means smth is missing from ur relationship..dont try to ask him any questions about it cause he will prob deny everything..i think u should try to change the way he sees u..make him remember the first years of marriage when things were better for both of u..good luck
6. for the sake of the children, do try to work it out. see a counselor, if he still doesnt change his ways,i say leave his ass. you dont need to be sacrificing your heart and living everyday with this emotional baggage on your shoulders. if it carries on for too long it'll just bring you and your family down. this might even effect your kids...the girls ar going to grow up seeing their father cheat on their mother and the heartache it brings her, which will leave them emotionally scarred or worse, cause them to have low self esteem and no trust whatsoever in relationships. talk it out with him, and get it all out on the table.and i mean really talk, and not argue or yell about it. time is critical. i hope this helps.
7. If hes not happy let him go... or better yet make yourself happy and kick his butt to the curb.... If he does not have any love and respect for you and your daughters to remain faithful and not try to commit adultry and bring a disease home and hurt his 'loved' ones... let the cold hearted beast go... Honey, find you someone whom will not only say he loves you but actually LOVES you and then, get YOUR groove on!!! Let your daughters see the strong, wise and self respecting woman you are so that they too will be thus...
8. He will be feeling terrible about it now I would suspect. Sometimes the curiosity gets the better of you and you delve into the fantasy realm not meaning any harm but getting caught out none the less. Sort of role playing in a novel that you are reading without the intention of harming anyone sort of thing. It will actually make it worse you being heartbroken if this is the case because a wedge is now driven between you - with both of you isolated and feeling terrible. Not saying that what he did is right - DEFINITELY NOT - but you got to work back on to level ground so here is the suggestion - sit next to him, look him in the eye and say to him - are you sorry u did what u did? if he says yes then say well I just want to say that even though you did what you did and it really hurt me I still love you and I hope you remember that and don't do it again. Why do I suggest this? because you have taken the higher ground. You are now in the position of power. Give it a go. Can't give you 100% gaurantees but this is what it will take.
9. Most of these site are not for real all they want is your money. The only thing you can do is talk to him. You could set yourself up as a single 22 year old but not sure that would help. I expect he still loves you as much as ever but is feeling something is missing. Like all of us we tend to let life go on and forget to still have fun as husband and wife, with bring up children, working hard, shopping, washing , cleaning, the garden. When do you really have time for magic moments between you. I think you need to spice up your sex life a little to make things more fun and for both of you to not need fantasies as much sorry for him not to. First do you do have to talk but try not to get to upset as at this point in time nothing has happened and if the two of you can sort things out nothing will happen. You can never be a 22 year old again and nor can he but what you have got is all that you have learnt about each other over the years. I know it sounds as if I am only talking about sex but that is one big thing that brings couples together but what ever age you must still play and have fun and not just go through the motions. I bet what he is missing is the same as you miss that buzz of when you first meet and first had sex together, that buzz of always wanting to be together and having plenty of time for each other. I think all couple go through things like this and you are lucky, you have found out before damage is done. Remember be a little devil in your own relationship you are there to please each other not please yourself give pleasure and you will receive more pleasure in return. Good Luck
10. F**k him off, he isnt trustworthy.Its online now but soon he will be meeting women.You dont need that in your life after all the years you have been together.In my experience of men and how they use and abuse us, its possible hes cheated on you already.Sorry to be so blunt, i hope you sort it all out, and good luck.
11. Im sorry to read this sweetie. I myself have neva experienced it. But if i had i would cut my husbands penis off and leave it in a pickled jar on my mantle piece for show. Ive warned him about doing that stuff... My motto is do and die! I hope u can figure something out. Try to sit down and talk about it, altho this is often hard as guys dont like to chat.
12. You don't need advice, you need a marriage councelor!
13. Hi As a guy that's been down that road but never committed the sin i will explain a little more I have now been married for 26 years with four children most whom now have gone their own ways in life . I passed through phases like your guy is going through and it was just phases nothing came of it but i am only talking of myself OK . All the Lady's will slate the guy off most of the time but are you still in love with him and do you show it often enough ? I tell my wife every day that i love her and i mean it , we still smooch even after all that time that's what keeps the fires burning . do you still think you look good , you know what i mean , is the excitement still there or are you in the "routine" of your relationship.same thing day after day ? Make some changes and you will see things get better , but make him pull his weight also . takes two to make a relationship . If you think that you cant go on at least talk to him and clear the air , i do not mean argue , i mean talk OK Hope this helps
14. is he actually meeting with the women he's seeking? no, he obviously isn't happy with you & you need to find out why. tell him you know & that you both have to talk. he may lie & bluster, but you do need to get to the bottom of it. suggest counselling to him & tell him he either cooperates or he's out the door. only you can decide what you want to do about it, but make it clear to him that you do know & will not put up with it. good luck, hun. diane.