sorry for the longest quest,BUT I NEED SOME VERY SERIOUS ADVICE,mature,sincere & experienced solutions PLEASE?

Public Comments

1. How come you get to write so much?
2. Walk away. Just as you loved him, you can love another. Trust me!
3. Fall out of love with him. Then try to make a marriage of convenience.
4. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU WRITE SO MUCH!!!?
5. simlpe logic,he just using u..... he's a totally jerk,..time to move on girl,there is more than a better guy out there, good luck
6. First of all, Your story is long and hunny i think youve got to move on, if he keeps on acting very weird then very nice and all weird again i think you should dump him by the time its 2010 you will be 26-27 and i think you should start your family now, anyways i know your really busy but if i were you i would keep in touch as friends except dump him because he acts mean towards you, and do you think a BOYFRIEND would actually do that? i dont think so, move on hunny there are more handsome fish in the sea.
7. Hello Did he ever love you? Maybe, perhaps, but I don't think he does now, he is using you and yes, he is using his friend to check up on you, so he still cares a bit, but realises that he can have you part-time if he wants! No, I don't think he was faking anything right at the beginning, when things were really good, but SOMETHING HAS happened, whether it is his family situation or not, I cant tell, but he may have started seeing someone else. Is his love worth waiting for?? No way, not ever! You are very young and this is very painful for you, all this hanging on and questions you have. I am 95% sure that he will not come back to full time or marry you, maybe he would have done In September 07, but not now. The best friend can probably NOT be trusted, he is your " boyfriends" best friend and not yours, so his allegiance and loyalty will not be with you. Whay did he message you yesterday, probably to feed his ego, to see if you are still desperate for him. I am going to give you advice that you will not like, but its good advice from someone who has been through something very simuliar to what you are going through now and survived. You MUST forget about him, Destroy any photos, his number, any letters, any texs, go on holiday somewhere, hang out with your friends more, study harder, get a pet, do anything you can to forget about hime, because he will probably never give you what you need from him. It is going to hurt like hell for a while, but time was the only thing that healed me, and I went out with my guy for about a year before I realised he wasn't serious. You are 21, you will meet so many more men in your life that will make you happy, ask your God to bring someone into your life and to take this man out of your head, it worked for me. I wish you all the best with your decision, whatever you decide, you will either be happy soon or this pain, frustration and despair will go on for as long as you let it. Good luck
8. Wow. Sounds like you both are seriously confused. The way I see it, you should try letting go. I know its not what you want to hear but he is not going to go against his family. The only way a man is willing to defy his fam. is if he has a true dislike for them or doesn't care about how they feel or the shame he thinks they would have if he did what he pleased. I think, from the sound of it, he probably likes you enough to not want your feelings to get hurt, but this will never work. He has too much concern for his family and not enough concern to see if the two of you have a love that withstands all of these tests of time. It kinda sounds like he's keeping you around to fulfill his sexual needs. Sorry. It sounds to me like he might be getting back in touch with you time and time again when he realizes that with out you, he would not be able to have sex or even make out with another girl with out having to get involved with her all over again, only to have to let her go as well. It kinda sounds like he's keeping you around out of convenience. Sorry again. I just think that you have a whole lot more invested in this than he does. You are dreaming, wishing and hoping that one day the love the two of you share will over power all of these hurdles coming in your way. Men aren't dreamers like we are and if he says he won't commit, he won't. He's not going to magically change his mind one day because he gazes into your eyes and sees that he needs you to complete him. He does care about your feelings, but not enough to stop doing what he's doing. He is kinda using you-in a way. Sorry. It just sounds like he needs you to be able to fulfill his needs, whether sexual or something else. It's a difficult thing to build a relationship over again. One has to work really hard to learn someone new enough to the point that they will feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable, so why not keep you around to not have to do that all over again. Besides, in hyis mind, he knows you will always be around because you are like putty in his hands. He says jump, you say how high. That's how we get taken for granted. When a man knows how weak and serious we get when it comes to our love for them, they think we will never leave, in turn using and abusing our love and kindness. They don't expect that we will go anywhere so they do what they please. It sucks, I know more than anyone! Point being, you should go. You are too young, life is too short, and truly, if he really does love you as much as you hope, he will come back to you. If his love is so pure and so strong, it will withstand the test of time. Regardless if he meets someone new, has sex with, or developes a feeling for another person for a bit, if your love really is that strong, in the end, he will be yours. That's how I see it. Best of luck :)
9. Give me time please
10. If you look at your writing, you will see a pattern. He pulls back, you push forward, he gets back together with you, then pulls back again. Then you push forward and the whole cycle repeats. Here is my take. You both were very much in love with each other for awhile. Then he fell out of love as often happens, especially with younger people. Accordingly, you could feel the difference and began to feel afraid, which made you want to get closer, causing him to want to step back further still. The reality seems to be that at one time he was in love with you. He still has fond feelings for you and does not want to hurt you, so he is making excuses in order to let you down easy. He is still interested in knowing how you are, but when he asks, you overwhelm him again. What is a simple inquiry for him is "maybe we are getting back together again!" for you. The handwriting is on the wall. You just don't want to read it. What you have left from your love affair are feelings that are not reciprocated. It has been my experience that once this happens, things are never the same again. He is sending you the message, it is time for you to acknowledge it. If I were you, I would take charge of the situation and tell him you will need some time and space to get used to the way things are now. Tell him you will let him know when you are ready to contact him. Yes, you will have to deal with the pain head on, but it won't kill you. Otherwise you will spend the rest of your life picking at the crumbs that he chooses to throw to you instead of moving on to a more worthwhile relationship. It is your call.