Why is it so hard to find someone to go out with?

Im probably the average guy...in his 20's, has a good job, clean, healthy, and good looking. Im not someone who really likes to go out a lot, meaning to clubs, bars and dont party til 3am type of person. I bodybuild year round, am in excellent shape, eat great and love it. I know I have all the qualities a women wants, handsome, nice, generous, humor, etc. I tried online dating a few times, either by paying for it or just using the free trial. That was a waste because no seems to respond, ( and yes I did have pictures). My question is, what is going on? It seems like if im not drinking everynight getting drunk and going to parties I wont be able to meet anyone. Is this true? I dont think it is? What should I do, go out to malls, walk around town? Any advice will help, thanks.

Public Comments

1. I think clubs are rotten places to meet the right kind of people. Maybe you need to back off on the weighlifting and do more social events like dance clubs (country or salsa), art classes, cooking classes, book clubs - go to where the girls are with a brain in their heads! Good luck.
2. dont we all ask that once or 50 times in our life
3. Being social doesn't always concern bars or clubs. Involve yourself in the community! It's all about social networking, and honestly a relationship doesn't always have to come out of it, new friends are just as good. Stop looking so hard and just enjoy yourself! Meet new people! It seems the less harder you look, the more often you'll find someone.
4. I say just walk around the town and look for a girl ask her like were a place is or something and if she says it in a attitude way or gives u a weird look then she's not a girl u want. You'll know what i mean if u do wat i say. but if she doesnt have an attitude then u should ask her out to like dinner. and just ask about her.
5. umm, I don't know where to find boring girls. the library, maybe?
6. First of all just because u work dosen't mean ur going to find very hot gf. I seen skinny guys walking around with hot ladies. Second of all quit usuing internet to find ur new gf..try going to the , if u dont want to drink then dont im sure girls will notice u at the club. Good Luck
7. well honey,you sound like a nice bloke but you need to be seen, getting out and about will greatly enhance your chances there is also the possibility that girls think you're out of their league and therefore won't approach you
8. maybe your just looking in all the wrong places, just be patient, you'll eventually find someone decent. try dating guys outside your usual type and you might find someone interesting.
9. I always hate going to bars, it seems that is the worst place to meet someone because they only want one thing and it is NOT a relationship! Since you work out, have you tried the gym? Are you involved in any other activities? Maybe try some type of adult class, like cooking, to not only learn a new skill but find someone who has the same interests you do. Oh, it never hurts to be a gentlemen at a store. I very short, and guys like to help me get things off high shelves as means of breaking the ice!
10. i am in exactly the same position as you...the truth is, if you party around, you're not going to find quality girls...you have to keep your eye out wherever you go...just live your life and do your hobbies and try looking for girls in places like grocery stores, libraries, clubs/organizations, in your classes, at your job, church, banquet or networking events, or ask your family or friends whether they know some quality girls...they are out there, you can find them
11. Gosh you sound perfect for my daughter. Only I never had a daughter.. So sorry I wish I could help. I know many single people and they have the same reason you have for not dating. My husband on the other hand chose the bar scene until we were married and then he said were not going out drinking and driving and wasting all of that money. So for many years I had the bar come to our house... He tired of that too. Truthfully he was only a drinker until he was sure he would be married.. He allowed me to turn off the sports shows to show me he would rather be a husband than a fan..... But now were in a rut.. I drink alone and he watches sports alone.. Peek a boo I fooled you. I keep saying go to church but I just do not know of allot of places single women go . they want to be with a friend...Maybe a bingo hall. That is where my x sister in law hangs out and she is single.I mean common where is she going to go to meet men when she is over 40.
12. try to ask your firiends to find someone who could be your date. having a date which is highly recommended is advisable rather than to date someone you dont know or no idea at all what she likes to eat, where she wanted to go and anything else, unlike if having a date with someone whom a friend of yours knows her, you can ask your friend what does your date likes and dislikes, so that more or less you can already adjust and somehow you already know what to do during your date.
13. Well typically I would suggest going online, but seeing as you have already tried that...and I personally think looking for someone in a mall seems silly; Try volunteering. Not in just anything, but something you like or are passionate about. If you love animals, try a humane society. That way you will bond over something you both enjoy. I know this may seem like a silly question, but have you looked around at your gym? Because that would also be a mutual interest. Hope this helps. Good Luck***
14. I feel the same way! I've already given the normal places a go... like guys at my work (I work for a big company), friends or friends. I think it's really tough to meet guys, or at least the amount of guys you need to meet to find one you click with! I'm sure it is the same way for you guys. Shouldn't we have the technology by now to just scan a fingerprint and find a match. hehe Anyways, I just wanted you to know that it's frustrating for the girls out there too and to wish you luck in your search!
15. Hey Dave, you and I should hook up. I am in the same boat as you. I asked a similar question not to long ago only referring to the fact that whenever I post a profile on internet dating sites it seems like I don't get many replies or the ones that do reply are anywhere between ages of 50-60. I am 35. Like you, I am looking for someone that doesn't hang out at bars/clubs till 3am, someone who is honest, considerate, kind and who is healthy and lives a healthy lifestyle. I've also posted pictures on these profiles (even paid for a few of the dating sites) and I still have not met my match. Whenever I talk to anyone about this same problem of mine I am always told the same thing...which I am sure you have heard a hundred times..."be patient and you'll meet someone when you least expect it". I think that is a bunch of hogwash. I think in order to meet someone worthwhile and date worthy, you have to put yourself out there. As hard as it is and as frustrating as it gets, how else are you supposed to make yourself known to others? If you sit at home all day in front of a computer then dating sites are probably your best tool. But from what you described about yourself...honey you have all the qualities a single girl would be looking for. My guess is that you are a bit shy - am I right? Try volunteering and helping out a cause that is near and dear to your heart. Could be you might meet someone while you are doing what you enjoy. Or, try going to a new gym to workout one day. Maybe take a class at the local jr. college or if you are interested in religion...find a church with an active singles ministry. The more that you put yourself out there, the more others will know you are available. That is the only way that us "single & looking" folks will meet anyone. Don't get discouraged. You have a lot to offer the right person, so don't just settle with anyone. You are worth more than all the money in the world to the right person, and when you meet this person you will definitely know when its right. Good luck! Take care.