His job & son take most of his time, is he really that into me?

I dated this guy a few years ago, and I was more into partying than him...I really did care about him, I was just young (22) and he broke my heart. Well about a month ago he contacted me and we started talking everyday, two and three times a day, we went out to dinner and he took me around his friends and introduced me to all them. He recently told me he likes me and he wants to see what can happen, but he doesn't want anything exclusive right now. He wants to take things slow. He is so used to being single, he says. He works third shift and only has his son one night a week, so that leaves him one night to go out...I understand his busy schedule, I have one as well and don't have a lot of free time...I just really care about this guy and don't want to lose him again...any advice guys?? What is a man's definition of casual dating???

Public Comments

1. Well why don't you and him try going out with the kids to the park and get ice cream. Something fun that the kids will enjoy.
2. If you want more than he is willing to offer, then say NO thank you, you are not giving me what I want Non-exclusive means he wants to f*ck other women... Are you cool with that?
3. I think you need to leave this guy alone. He needs to focus on his son, not on his dating life. His son is much more important.
4. My perception of a man saying he doesn't want anything exclusive is either that he wants to see other women (maybe is already seeing other women!) as well as you, OR he just wants to make sure that you're not going to try dragging him down the aisle next week. It depends on the guy ... do you think he is more likely to be a player, or just nervous about getting his heart broken?
5. Casual dating is sex with no strings attached. Sometimes he'll feel like seeing you but when he doesn't, you can't trip. I think that if you guys would have to sacrifice time together then you should wait and see. You don't want to get involved with someone that you really like and you can't really see him. That's torture.
6. casual dating in my opinion is a friendship in which you get to ... in your case... reknow each other! I would say start of with simple dates and then work up to the more elegant things... since both of yoru schedules are pretty messed up one of you will have to probly make a change! all of that just depends on how much you like each other! I think things between you two could definately work out... you just have to MAKE time to see each other...
7. just relax, that way you won't lose him. get to caught up in trying to spend more time with him and you may scare him off. but he obvously does think highly of you, to get in contact with you after all this time. and sometimes us guys are dumb, we dedicate ourselves to our jobs. but he's a responsible, hard-working father and you should definately respect that. and unless you press to hard, you won't lose him. he's really into you.
8. Casual Dating means he won't have to 1 care about your feelings 2 have responsibility/obligation to see you, call you, meet your expectations 3 can do whatever he want and f*ck around. Those are his priorities, NOT YOU. He's just not that into you.
9. Wow...okay well this is like me and my boyfriend and me! See he works second shift and I have to go to school and we only get to see each other on the weekends...then every other weekend he gets his son! So he doesnt have alot of time either! But we deal with it because we love eachother and know that every minute that we do spend together is special! We know that things will get better soon...so if you really truly care for this guy just trust me it will be worth it in the end to just take it slow and you guys will end up being together!
10. The good thing is that he was upfront and honest with you about his intentions. He doesn't want to be exclusive but he wants to date you. Take the one night a week to try things out. Don't expect more that what he said he will give. Just know that he is open to possibilities but leaving all options open. He is taking things slowly and one day at a time instead of rushing into a relationship. Just enjoy the time you have with him if you are interested and see where things go from there.
11. He might be trying to prevent himself from getting hurt again. If he really is working five nights, clears out time for his son another night (commendable) and reserves the last night for you, that should be telling you something about your importance. If he includes you in his son time, I would take that as a huge compliment. People bring all sorts of baggage to a relationship, some good, some bad. Your job is trying to determine the intentions. Good Luck.
12. It sounds to me like he just wants to take it slow and there is nothing wrong with that. You should respect him for not wanting to jump right into a relationship. When you take it slow it gives both of you the opportunity to see if it's really what you want. As far as his son goes, that is his son and he will and should always be his top priority. I have a daughter and she will always come before the man I'm dating. You are either ready for that or you are not, that's a choice that you will have to make on your own. Good luck.
13. You weren't into him before, right? I realize time goes by and ppl change, so do feelings. I think you should appreciate that he is spending time with his kid. Just take it for face value he probably remembers you wanting to party all the time. Show him you've slowed down.
14. Hmmm... tough call. Look at this completely objectively, without emotional interferance. The pros: You talk every day - into you You met all his friends - into you He says he likes you - into you The cons: Doesn't want to be exclusive - not into you Wants to take things slow - not into you right now He's used to being single - not into you He's very buisy and can't work you into his schedule - not into you The answer: Well, he's somewhat into you, but just not ENOUGH. If he truely is the man you want, be prepared for a bumpy ride. If it were me though, I'd cut my losses and move on. Any man who was truely and whole heartedly into you wouldn't let anything stand in his way.