Some relationship advice please?
Ok, I'm 17 and there's a girl, 18. She just got out a really terrible and long relationship. We'd been seeing each other as friends for a while and decided to go on a date. Now, after date numero uno: I get a text from her after saying that she does like me as more than a friend and wants us to keep dating but she isn't ready for a serious relationship yet. I kind of took this as her being to nice to say "lets just be friends" at first but after meeting up for coffee one day it seemed she was being genuine and I understood about her previous relationship. So here's the problem, I am looking for a serious relationship but feel willing to let her enjoy being single (ie she can see other guys, I can see other girls) for a while until she becomes comfortable with getting close to someone again (again, stressing she came out a very bad relationship so I felt this could be understandable). I let her know I was looking for something serious in the long term but am fine with casual dating in the short-term and that I won't just be her back-up until she meets someone she does want a relationship with. She seems to have a need to date others for a month or two first (until Summer really). Then she seems to feel we might be able to move on a bit into a relationship (presuming things are fine in the time being). She does say she doesn't ever want to get into a relationship that involves calling, texting and seeing each other every day and her education comes before any relationship (again, don't know wether this is fair enough or just trying to push me away) What do you reckon: Is this normal? Am I just being anxious because I really like her? I find it hard to judge and find it complicated. She deserves some time to be free and single but I can't help but feel maybe she's just hanging onto me until someone better comes along. Stress! Anyone, particularly women have any opinion on all this? Should I get out before I get hurt or let her have her space for a while. Sorry for the long question! Also; We are both in college. She is a busy person, she doesn't seem to meet up often but thinks twice a month would be good, maybe thats important aswell?
Public Comments
- she is shell shocked from the prior relationship. she doesnt want to be hurt. someday she will realize that to fall in love you must risk being hurt. if you are willing to give her space when she needs it and she is worth it, then be there for her and go at her pace
- She's not ready for a committed relationship, not without being sure of what she's getting into at this point. Most lasting relationships do not develop overnight - at least most sensible people don't fall in love with great immediacy. Do what you think best based on that sure knowledge.
